Dear Swami,

 

Would you care to weigh in on that controversy in America having to do with the opposition to Muslims building a community center near the World Trade Center “ground zero” site? President Obama first supported then he seemed to waver slightly.

 

- Muslim PR specialist

 

 

Dear Muslim PR specialist,

 

President Obama didn’t waver, he parsed. In other words, he navigated his comments to a more political shore. He was wrong, and the Swami thinks Obama knows he was wrong to back off a millimeter. 

 

As more people think intelligently about the issue, the polls which show Americans are against such a Muslim center will gradually change and common sense and religious tolerance will win out.

 

This is not being Pollyanna. It is being practical as a long-time observer of the American psychic and polls.

 

As a friend pointed out, Eric Rudolph was a radical Christian terrorist. He planted a bomb in Olympic Park in Atlanta, hoping to kill hundreds. A security guard found the bomb, cleared the area and saved all but one.

 

If one thinks is un-American to have a Muslim center near New York’s ground zero of the Sept. 11, 2001 tragedy, then logic suggests no Christian church should be located near an American Olympic site.

 

This, of course, is hogwash. The American people will eventually get it right except for a few wing nuts whose elevators are permanently parked on mezzanine level.

 

- Swami

 

 

 

 

 


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2010-09-01

Dear Swami,

Has the press release out-lived its usefulness? Is the press release as we know it dead?

--PR student

 

Dear PR student,

The press release has a faint heartbeat. But the disease, a sort of sclerosis of the “we’ve always done it this way” gland, is debilitating at best, fatal at worst.

The argument, however, should not be about the press release’s form or the way it is delivered. It should be about content of the release.

The argument we hear today is that the press release is a thing of the past because of new and modern ways of delivery in the social media age.

Any idiot acquainted with Darwin knows this. Delivery systems are evolutionary. The press release should have died of natural causes years ago because content did not keep up with delivery mechanisms.

When Ivy Lee did the first press release for John D. Rockefeller No. 1 in 1906, it was probably brilliant. But by the time I worked for Rockefeller No. 4 some 80 years later, the press release was, or should have been, an anachronism.

Today most press releases are written by PR firms or in-house PR people or—much worse, lawyers—for the benefit of the company and its leadership and not for the benefit of the journalist.

Somewhere along the way, we all took a wrong turn and got things backassword.  The press release should be merely a guide for the journalist and it should be elegantly concise.

Today an average press release might run to 400-600 words. I got news for you buddy, the Financial Times won’t take a story over 300 words unless the headline is WORLD COMING TO AN END.

Instead of serving as a basic roadmap to a story, press releases today are loaded down with platitudes, position statements and self-serving quotes designed to make the bosses feel good.

These are not a press release make. These are rose buds tossed into the wind.

--Swami 

 

 


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2010-08-26

Dear Swami,

What do you do with employees who come in sick?

 --Wondering

 

Dear Wondering,

If they come in with something like the Black Plague or Typhoid I would send them home and disinfect the office. But, if it is a mere sniffle, I say, “Hey, what’s a few minor airborne diseases among friends.”

I am exaggerating for effect here. I hope you can see that.

But really, I have had people with a slight cough one day who predicted they would be sick for the entire next week, as if they were the Swami. It is amazing, though, how easy it is to tell truly ill people who should be at home from the goldbrickers.

Most bosses have heard it all. I can’t work today boss because the snow covered up parking places and I can’t find a space (A true excuse). Or, with this hot weather, where I work is too hot. (Ever heard of a fan?)

A good boss will show some slack and trust the word of an employee on whether he or she is sick. In such situations the benefit of the doubt should always go to the employee.

However, my suggestion to the alleged sick person is 1) If  able, try to get a little work done at home;  2) Stay at home even if you have a miraculous recovery when a friend asks you out, and 3) Stay off Farmville on Facebook.

--Swami

 


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2010-08-03

 

Dear Swami,

What celebrity would you like to meet and why?

--Star Struck

 

Dear Star Struck,

Hmmm, I think that would be Mel Gibson. Can you think of another celebrity that would be as challenging for a PR swami?

The guy has stepped in every pile of dog poop on the celebrity lawn. He’s given that Iranian blowhard a run for his money—you know, the president whose last name sounds like a two trains wrecking.

I mean Mel has done the drunken driving thing and then launched racially-tainted missiles at the arresting officer. He has shown himself to be an anti-Semitic boob and lately he has the rap of beating and abusing his one-time squeeze.

So, he would be quite a challenge and that’s why I would like to meet him.

You probably have a follow-up question: What would I suggest Mad Mel do? First, he needs to disappear for six months of soul-searching. He can’t even be seen at the Beverly Hills Laundromat. I suggest he walk America’s 2000 mile Appalachian Trail-alone.

On re-emerging from the wilderness, he should admit to having a life-changing vision. He now loves African Americans, Jewish people and has agreed to his former girlfriend giving him 50 lashes with a bullwhip in public.

Then he should disappear again.

--Swami

 

 

 


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2010-07-30

Dear Swami,

A fellow walked through our agency doors searching for help with public relations. He owns a barber shop/spa with a scantily clad female staff catering to gentleman patrons. The name of the shop is “Tops Off”. He met with an assistant and now he wants to meet with me. How do I control my laughter and urge to kick him to the curb?

--Laura from West Virginia

 

Dear Laura,

I’m with you sister. It’s your business. Kick this sexist boob with crabgrass brains to the curb with impunity and extreme prejudice. Then go ahead and laugh.

When I take off my turban to get my ears lowered, I want a regular barber shop, the kind with old Coca-Cola calendars on the wall, a spittoon in the corner and a guy barber who knows what Nellie Fox batted for the Chicago White Sox in 1954. I want to go to a barber where there are only three styles of cuts: long, medium and short.

We have standards, my friend—and we don’t lower them in a recession. Looking into my crystal ball, I can see something good is going to happen to you today. Take the Swami’s word on it.

--Swami

 


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2010-07-27

Dr. Krzysztof Siedlecki: Trying to Change a Culture
Strategic Approaches

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